How to Support Emotional Regulation in Young Children
Emotional regulation—the ability to manage and respond to emotions in a healthy way—is a foundational skill for young children. Developing this skill early helps children navigate social situations, cope with frustration, and build resilience. For parents and caregivers, understanding how to nurture emotional regulation can make a significant difference in a child’s well-being and future success.
What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation refers to a child’s ability to recognize, express, and manage their emotions appropriately. This includes:
Identifying feelings (e.g., happy, sad, angry, scared)
Expressing emotions in a safe and constructive way
Using strategies to calm down when upset
Adjusting behavior to fit the situation
Children are not born with these skills—they learn them over time through guidance, modeling, and practice[1][2].
Why Is Emotional Regulation Important?
Strong emotional regulation skills are linked to:
Better relationships with peers and adults
Improved attention and learning in school
Lower risk of behavioral challenges
Greater resilience in the face of stress[2][3]
Children who struggle with emotional regulation may have more frequent tantrums, difficulty following rules, or trouble making friends.
Strategies to Support Emotional Regulation
1. Model Healthy Emotional Expression
Children learn by watching adults. Demonstrate how to talk about feelings and handle frustration calmly. For example, say, “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”
2. Name and Validate Emotions
Help children identify and label their feelings. Use phrases like, “It looks like you’re feeling sad,” or “I see you’re angry because it’s time to stop playing.” Validating emotions helps children feel understood and teaches them that all feelings are okay.
3. Teach Calming Techniques
Introduce simple strategies for calming down, such as:
Deep breathing (“smell the flower, blow out the candle”)
Counting to ten
Squeezing a stress ball
Taking a break in a quiet space
Practice these techniques together when your child is calm, so they’re easier to use during moments of distress[1][3].
4. Establish Predictable Routines
Consistent routines help children feel secure and reduce anxiety. Knowing what to expect makes it easier for children to manage transitions and cope with changes.
5. Set Clear and Consistent Limits
Boundaries provide structure and help children understand expectations. Use calm, firm language and follow through with consequences when needed.
6. Encourage Problem-Solving
Guide children to think through solutions when they’re upset. Ask, “What can we do to make this better?” or “How can we solve this problem together?”
7. Praise Efforts and Progress
Acknowledge when your child tries to manage their emotions, even if they don’t get it perfect. Positive reinforcement builds confidence and motivation to keep practicing.
When to Seek Additional Support
Some children may need extra help with emotional regulation, especially if they have frequent, intense outbursts or difficulty calming down. Early intervention from a developmental-behavioral pediatrician or mental health professional can provide tailored strategies and support for your child and family[2][3].
If you’re concerned about your child’s emotional regulation or would like personalized guidance, schedule a comprehensive evaluation with Dr. Mejia, a Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrician.
References
Denham SA, Bassett HH, Wyatt TM. The socialization of emotional competence. In: Gross JJ, ed. Handbook of Emotion Regulation. 2nd ed. New York: Guilford Press; 2014: 614-629.
American Academy of Pediatrics. Promoting children’s emotional health. Pediatrics. 2012;129(1):e199-e201.
Thompson RA. Emotion regulation: A theme in search of definition. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development. 1994;59(2-3):25-52.
